burnwhatisaid

was so fun. I've been upset lately and I needed to get a lot out. After the show I went to Aarons with Theo and Huey. We just chilled, knocked down this fence at Mcdonalds because it was in our way from walking through this shortcut to the mall. I just got home, and im about to go watch some tv and rest.

alright so today i found out, from two of my "friends" that posted on a messageboard about this instead of coming to my face about the problem. so apparently i changed when i started listening to more hardcore. i could understand and respect the problem but to be a fucking low life and do it over a computer just proves to me how much respect this person actually has for me. Its honestly up to them if they would wanna talk about it, because i already talked to the third person and it opened up a few things to me and i agreed with him on many things he was upset about. I just hate losing friends, and i dont see how someone could go from saying they loved me as a friend to just leaving me in the dust.

i hate when friends change. then they get mad shady and shit, thinking their too fucking cool for you.

i figured i'd update this for the hell of it. everythings going pretty well. I'm on my own as far as my booking company goes. My partner split, but I really never saw us going anywhere together anyways. I've been having trouble sleeping lately. The only time i get tired is early in the morning and then I sleep through the whole day. I dont know what my problem is, but i should probably get it checked out. And I defintely need to find a job asap because being broke sucks dick. I'm gonna go on a job hunt later today around 12. I'll walk around my hood looking at some places. I have a definite job at the library but that don't start till June 1st and i can't survive being so fucking broke. I havent bought myself food with my earned money in fucking months. It sucks so bad, but I'm gonna change things.

I dont need anyone trying to tell me what I am, or who I am. I'm straight edge and thats that. Don't fucking try to preach to me what it is, because its what you make it to be. It's a matter of opinion. Theres alot of shit going around saying is it no sex at all? No sex before marriage? No sex out of a relationship? No sex outside of close friendship? Or just no promiscuous sex?

This topic always seems to come up because non straight edge kids always whine about who broke and what not. But the truth behind it is that as long as your safe, and not whoring yourself around and you use protection everythings straight. Straight Edge is NOT a set of rules to follow, its beliefs guiding you to a healthier lifestyle. So instead of talking shit about how you THINK I'm wrong, go do some research before you try telling me IM wrong.

on another note, this weekend fucking ruled. today was so much fun. i met some new kids and i had a great time with all my friends that went to the show. Have Heart, Verse this friday!

Guns Up dropped todays show @ the Redzone so im not gonna go. I've seen set your goals before and I dont really wanna spend the money going there and to get in and shit. But my vinyl came in today witha few cds from bridge 9. Outbreak both colors, RNR split, and Over My Dead Body/Death Threat split CD, Panic-Dying for it CD. iight im out

sick weekend. the show in the city was so much fun. the night before it, two of my "friends" were being scumbags..and i caught one of em talking shit about me but hes denying it because hes a piece of shit. the other one was sucking his balls trying to act cool. shityyyyyyy kids, fuck em. i dont need that shit.

theres so much going on this weekend. tomorrow right after school i got another interview @ waldbaums for a job as a cashier. And i need one now because me and ronnie are gonna go full time with booking shows. Right after that, im going to Matts house for Headshots practice. Huey and Aaron are supposed to come over and were gonna have a big bro sleep over because the next morning were all going to the city for a show with Headshot, Hands In and Insane Fight. It should be sick!!!

then sunday is Guns Up and Set Your Goals @ Redzone in Queens. Gonna see mad kids i havent seen in a while.

song 1

you made this all so clear
but for what its worth
we had our good times
but as the days moved on
the foundation we built
faded away
your not the person
i once knew.

kinda mad my paypal account is being retarted. i wanna pick up a few records that just came out with limitted pressings and i have to take care of a shitload of things i sold on ebay, but i can't receive a payment it i dont have an account!!

Last night really helped me to start believing in what real friends are. We had funny doing basically nothing. Nick, Scott and Stark and I all drove upstate to some shitty party because i was supposed to meet this girl. It turns out she was high/drunk/trippin on E the whole time so we were there for maybe an hour? But we had the most fun in the car ride there and back. We listened to hair metal, rap and techno and just had a fucking awesome time. Then stark and I had to get out of the car. I had to piss really bad cause i had a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper and he wnated a cigarette. He downed the whole thing in literally 1 minute and the whole time we thought something was in the woods, it was so fucking creepy. There was random barn houses that were abondoned in the middle of the woods. But overall, last night was sickkkkk!

today sucks. nothing to do. ive been listening to have heart, guns up, and holding on for hours.

i wish i fucking drove.

It was really fun, because a lot of my friends were drunk. Dane was throwing himself everywhere, it ruled. Blacklisted were sick..and warriors played ok. But they were better @ TGIF a while back.

I've been happier because I havent talked to one of my close friends because of some retarted girl drama we got into a fight about. And now we talked shit out and agreed it would be best to just drop it and always be there for each other from now on.

Now i sit here so fucking bored, trying to find something to do today because everyones going to Boys Night Out at Ritual. Honestly if I had the money I'd go because their pretty good. But it's defintely sold out anyways.

someone once told me "never hold a friend to close, because some day they'll stab you in your back"


im starting to believe that person.

It started off fine, Keiji picked me up from my house and we met up with Allan, Shaun, Stoney & Fusco. Then we realized we had to fit 4 kids in the back seat of his little jap mobile. The whole 3 hour ride there was the most uncomfortable thing ever. When we finally got to the show, it was nice being back up there and seeing a few familiar faces from the last show we all went to up there. Give Em Hell's set was really sweet, they played real well. Finally, From the Pawn went on. It started out like it usually does...decenent reaction. Next second, Allan fucking knocks down a 93 year old document that the Elks Lodge cherised and it was like the "order of the elks" document or some shit. His arm was bleeding like crazy and he had glass all in his arm and a few shards in his face. The owner of the venue wasn't that pissed but everyone was sucking Allans balls for that. We hit up Friendlys before we went home and had some good food and good times. Ride home was mad uncomfy...but for a night that fucking aweomse It was worth it.